The Smurfs in 3D

This morning we had 40 minutes to write about anything we wanted. From this we are going to set some writing goals for the term. Here is what I wrote:)

It was about 3:30pm on a Sunday afternoon. Around that time we arrived at the Sylvia Park Hoyts. As we entered the theatre, my annoying sister, my Aunty and I noticed that we were the first family there. “First in, first served!” I said in a awesome feeling way. When I sprinted up the lit up stairs, I smelt and heard the crunching sound of delicious popcorn underneath my shoes. I dumped myself in the chair and sunk down feeling relaxed and hungry. The seats started to fill up and after waiting for about 10 minutes, the lights faded as I knew The Smurfs 2 in 3D was finally beginning. “About time.” I whispered to my Aunty.

After a lot of pictures popping in my face, it got really annoying. During the movie, I noticed different shots in the movie which reminded me of a activity at school called Creative Strand. Quickly I grabbed a snack before missing out on any of the exciting bits.

Here is what my partner and I thought I needed to work on!

Needs better vocabularies and a good hook.

Needs different things like adjectives and similarity's.

Has to make it more exciting and more interesting.

And next time try to get it finished.